As we said in the sectarian drifts part, leaving a sect is not that easy. Really not easy. But still possible. The member just have to want it bad enough. However, he will need the help of his close family members : it's practically impossible to leave the sect alone. Indeed, a sect will make sure that you're living in an artificial or virtual world : it will create you a “new” life, in other words, it will find you another job, give you new friends and new hobbies (the study of the Ron Hubbard's work in Scientology for example..). And the sect will especially convince you that the exterior world is “evil” and in this way will persuade you to despise it. Therefore, if you leave the sect, all your world will collapse : you won't have points of reference anymore.

So, as we also said in the sectarian drifts part, there are two different opportunities to leave : the explusion or the voluntary exit, further to a disagreement or a conflict with the guru. In this way, you start opening your eyes. Even so, it's not over for all that ! The manipulation is still here. And usually, it stays a long time. But if you're not in that case, it's your family and friends who will help you to leave the sect. And we are going to give you advice about how to help a close relative enrolled in a sect. Well some of these advice, especially the last ones, are also useful for helping people who leave voluntary the sect, as we explain above.

First of all, do not try to convince him that the sect is bad, nasty, evil, wrong, or whatever, and do not criticize the guru and his belief, it would be a mistake ! Indeed to your friend/family member it will just confirm that the sect is right. Besides this, he will reel of a speech to you as a parrot over and over again. Also, it's necessary to avoid using the word “sect”.

Then, if you really care about you friend/family member do not leave him, and try to stay in touch with him as much as possible. If he leaves the country, keep writing to him and call him from time to time. Indeed, you are more or less the “keeper” of his old life. If you can, remind him of his old friends, old hobbies, etc.. And, during this time, as for you, find out objectively about the sect in question. Also, meeting ex-member would probably be a good thing. Oh and don't give him money, definitely not ! You know how much sects love money, so you can guess to who the money will be “donate”..

Little by little, start to ask him subtle questions which will bring him to think and even maybe doubt : it could be the click.

Finally, when he is out, you will have to be patient : the relapse is possible. And in order to avoid this latter, he will need your support, more than ever ! Well we are not telling you to survey his relationship but pay attention to some of his relation who might be members of the sect with who he is despite everything still friend. Indeed, it could bring about the return in the sect.

Above all, do not force him to talk about this painful (psychological but also physical sometimes) sectarian experience. Let him confide in you of his own free will. When he talks to you about his experience, do not make any judgment.

Moreover, he will need your help for finding another job, new hobbies, new housing, etc.. Because learn again to live free, it's particulary difficult, especially when he lived as if he was in jail more or less.

As we said above, you will need to be patient and also understanding. Indeed, going back to normal is not easy. Your friend/family member will have to deal with different issues. We are going to talk about some of them :

• he will have to completely come out of the guru's control : he still has some automatism and behavior due to the sect.

• it is possible that he has some memory troubles

• he could be frightened when he has to face up to the exterior world : when he has to ask something to someone he doesn't know for example

• he might be usually undecided : he is not accustom to make a personal decision anymore.

Let's move to something else. Do you know “deprograming” ? Well it was invented by Ted Patrick in the seventies in the USA. You probably guess that it's a method used to force a person to give up on loyalty to a religious group with a sectarian character. It looks “good”, but however, this practice was and is very controversial. Indeed, it consists in kidnapping or coercing a person with force, and then holding him/her prisoner in order to force him to take in informations about his sect (well informations which might make him/her change his/her mind) and in this way to decondition him/her. And the thing is that people who practice “deprograming”, use some techniques considered to sectarian drifts when it's about the sects. Moreover, some testimonies have been recorded and they describe very well the torture. Nevertheless, some deprogramed ex-adepts are grateful for this method which help them a lot.

All the people who used “deprograming” have been judged. In this way, normally the “deprograming” method is, nowadays, over. However, a new method called “exit counseling” is born in the USA. The concept is the same as “deprograming”, but the method is different. Indeed, there's no more coercion (well normally..) and the adept can stop whenever he wants to. That is to say that it costs between $2,000 and $4,000 (well in the USA in any case) and that “deprograming” cost $10,000 or even more sometimes.

One small point : usually, it's the parents (sometimes it could be the relatives) of the adept who asked for “deprograming”, and in general, they didn't really know that “deprograming” was that though and especially brutal. All they wanted was to find their child again..

Now, you have to know that organizations exist all around the world, in order to inform but also to help you ! Well, this website is just an association created especially with the aim of informing you since we are ex-members of diferent sects. But these organization are often less successful than expected. Indeed, as we saw in this article (mettre lien de l'article “secte ou religion), in the world, most of the time, the “big” sects as Scientology, Mormonism, or also the Jehovah's Witnesses are considered as religions, in this way, the population is less receptive to the “warnings”. Despite that, these organizations exist even though, and we are going to talk about some of them who can help you right away.

If you're an ex-Mormon or also a Mormon who wants to leave the group, there is the association and website postmormon.org who can help you and above all be there for you by assisting you. This association has been created by Jeff Ricks in 2002 (and the website in 2004). So Jeff Ricks is an ex-Mormon who lived a painful experience after his leaving : indeed, his family (who was Mormon too) lived his departure as a betrayal, in this way Jeff was all alone and didn't see a lot his family. Therefore, he decided to help others by creating this association of which the slogan is “you are not alone”. Also, he put publicity boards with the slogan in Utah, knowing that this state is made up of 70% of Mormons : in this way, he is sure that all the Mormons who want to leave the sect, know that they are not alone if they leave. This, because given that the Utah is a “Mormon” state more or less, leaving the sect can totally exclude you : the Mormon population don't talk to you anymore because they think that you're just a traitor and that the Devil takes over you and your soul.

So if you are feeling concerned, we suggest you to take a look at this PostMormon community !

One small point : in the USA, Canada, New Zealand, Australia, Europe and Ecuador, you'll can find PostMormon chapters there.

For the mormons, there is also exmormon, which is a really interesting website. 

The same type of website exists for ex-Scientologists, ex-Jehovah's Witnesses, or also Scientologists and Jehovah's Witnesses who are thinking of leaving the group. So, there is Exjw-Reunited for the Jehovah's Witnesses. 

And there is Exscn which is more for people who are Scientologists and are questionning their involvement, but also for people who are not Scientologists yet but think about getting involved with Scientology.

We found this really interesting website about leaving Scientology called Leaving Scientology : the way out is the way out. Take a look at it, the articles are really good, original and interesting !

Don't worry we don't forget the children ! Well, we only find one website but it's better than nothing. So, Ex-Scientology Kids is a website created by three women who grew up in Scientology and finally left the sect later. This webiste is destined for ex-Scientologists but also Scientologists who are still in.

Finally, if you're a curious person and that you need more informations about the sects, you can visit a full website called International Cultic Studies Association (ISCA). You will probably find answers to more specific questions.

Don't forget you are not alone